Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
