well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
