I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
