Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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