I wish i was in the wii world.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
