girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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