I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
