Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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