Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
