I showed him my bush... on skype.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
