I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
