I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
