hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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