I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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