she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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