what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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