what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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