And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
