are you so shy because you have an std?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
