So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
