she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
