so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
