so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
