omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
