It's like a parade of train wrecks.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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