well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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