why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
