I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
