the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
