Jerry, you need to find god
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
