he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
