Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
