Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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