i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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