Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
