Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
