and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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