Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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