Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
