went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
