Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize