Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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