cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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