Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
