did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
