So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Your cock deserves a montage
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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