dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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