I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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