Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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