My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
