Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm passing your future prison.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
