That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
