He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
