hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
