first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
