i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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